Becoming a single mom overnight is a life-altering experience, one that I never could have imagined. In October 2019, tragedy struck my life when I lost my husband in a devastating accident. Suddenly, I found myself navigating a world I was unprepared for, and the uncertainty of the future felt overwhelming. Our dreams of growing old together, sending our son off to college, and retiring in the south of France had vanished. My husband had been our provider, and I was faced with the daunting task of supporting my toddler and myself in Los Angeles.

In those early days, I was juggling various freelance gigs as a stylist and personal shopper, along with my reselling business. It was clear that these income sources wouldn’t be enough to make ends meet. Here, I want to share some valuable tips and insights from my journey as a widowed single mom, in the hope that they might help others who find themselves on a similar path.

Coping with the sudden loss of a spouse and becoming a single mom is an incredibly challenging and emotional journey. Here are four crucial steps to help you navigate this difficult transition:

• Seek Emotional Support:

1. Reach out to friends and family: Lean on your support network of friends and family. They can provide emotional comfort and practical assistance during this trying time.
2. Consider grief counseling or therapy: Professional support can be immensely beneficial in helping you process your grief, manage the emotional rollercoaster, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

• Figuring out where you stand financially:

1. Assess your financial situation: Take stock of your income, expenses, debts, and savings. Understanding your financial standing is essential for making informed decisions.
2. Create a budget: Develop a budget that reflects your current financial reality. This will help you allocate resources wisely and plan for both short-term and long-term financial stability.
3. Explore financial resources: Investigate any potential financial resources available to you, such as life insurance, survivor’s benefits, or other financial assistance programs.
4. Consider seeking professional advice: Consult a financial advisor or planner to help you create a financial roadmap for the future. They can assist with investment strategies, retirement planning, and debt management. By the way, I know all of this already sounds overwhelming, so take your time….. this is not going to happen right away none of what I mention here.

• Legal and Administrative Matters:

1. Review and update legal documents: Ensure that your spouse’s will, insurance policies, and other legal documents are in order. If you don’t have a will, consider creating one to outline your wishes and designate a guardian for your child.
2. Update ownership and beneficiaries: Update the ownership of joint assets, bank accounts, and beneficiary designations on accounts, retirement plans, and insurance policies to reflect your new circumstances.
3. Contact relevant authorities and organizations: Notify government agencies, financial institutions, and other organizations of your spouse’s passing to prevent any complications or identity theft.

• Self-Care and Prioritize Well-being:

1. Prioritize self-care: Caring for yourself is vital during this challenging time. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.
2. Seek childcare support: If you have children, consider enlisting the help of family members, friends, or a trusted babysitter to ensure you have time for self-care.
3. Connect with support groups: Join support groups for widows and single parents. Sharing experiences and insights with others who have gone through similar challenges can provide valuable guidance and emotional support.

Remember that healing and adjusting to this new chapter in your life take time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help or assistance when needed. Surround yourself with a support network that understands your journey, and know that with time, you can find a path to resilience and well-being as a single mom.

Stabilizing your situation is the first crucial step when transitioning into single motherhood. This process will look different for each person, depending on the circumstances they find themselves in. In my case, it seemed like I might have to move back in with my parents or even consider living with my in-laws to make ends meet.

The very first thing I did was turn to prayer. I asked God to guide my steps and provide the strength and wisdom I needed to navigate this challenging journey. While it was undoubtedly a trying time, I soon realized that I was not alone.

I was incredibly fortunate to have a supportive community of fellow moms in my town. They rallied around me and raised funds, recognizing the urgency of my situation. Since my husband hadn’t left us with life insurance, these contributions made an enormous difference. They allowed me to pay my rent for six months, which meant I could redirect the money I was earning from my various jobs towards building a more stable financial foundation.

The kindness and generosity of these moms demonstrated the power of community and reminded me that, even in the darkest of times, people are willing to help and support you. This act of kindness gave me the breathing room I needed to take the first steps toward creating a more secure future for my son and myself.

Transitioning into single motherhood was undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences of my life. However, with faith, community support, and a determination to stabilize our situation, I began to see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. In the subsequent blog posts, I’ll share more insights and tips on how I navigated this journey, from financial planning to self-care and everything in between. Ask me anything. I’ll go into more detail.

Remember, if you’re a single mom facing similar challenges, you’re not alone, and there is hope. Stay tuned for more of my story and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

With Love,

Tera