I did an Instagram about the 5 things I learned and wanted to not only elaborate but also give more insight.
1. I think the first and most important thing that I’ve learned as a mom is that I actually want to be a mom.
Before I got pregnant with Max, I was very indifferent to the idea of having a child.
Somewhere between 11 and 20 weeks I was madly in love with my baby and would be anything for him. I think this realization surprised me the most. Everything I do now including my career is just a how can I do this in a way that would make me a better mom?
Before I got pregnant with Max, I was very indifferent to the idea of having a child.
Somewhere between 11 and 20 weeks I was madly in love with my baby and would be anything for him. I think this realization surprised me the most. Everything I do now including my career is just a how can I do this in a way that would make me a better mom?
2. Learning that I was strong and fragile simultaneously was a very interesting thing to learn. At one point there I am growing a human being, then you give birth to this human being, then you’re able to feed this human being with milk that your body is making, and on top of all that you’re able to keep this baby alive with hardly any sleep. Mind-blowing! I am a BADASS. Unfortunately for some women, like myself, you’re also experiencing crazy wicked postpartum anxiety. Which for me felt like constant worrying about things that most likely wouldn’t come to pass but feeling extremely unprepared. I remember a time I woke up in tears because I didn’t know what to do in case a bear attacked my baby. First of all, when would a bear attack us? One of our weekly visits to Nordstrom’s perhaps? I can’t explain it but the fear was real and I cried for a long time while my baby lay safely next to me. That time in my life was so rough, you can’t be afraid to ask for help.
3. The value of tribal living! You NEED other mommies in your life. The minute you realize you are bringing a baby into the world, you become desperate to join the mommy groups! Not to mention being pregnant and then a new mom is lonely and isolating.
4. Marriage is a big topic, almost needs it’s own blog post. It’s so important that you and your partner discuss expectations. I feel like a woman goes into this experience thinking my partner will help me with diapers, meals, rest, and whatever else. The man may think “She’s got this” After all she’s the mom. I would say that was probably the toughest part of it all. My husband and I REALLY had a hard time adjusting, It gets easier the more you communicate.
5. Dealing with unsolicited advice….I don’t spend a whole bunch of time defending my choices or actions. I just don’t. My son was 18 months, all I heard everyday is that he needs to be done nursing. He is wasn’t ready. Maxwell actually didn’t wean until he was a 26 months. And that was that! Moms are wise! I will always instinctively do what’s right for Maxwell.
6. Mortality, I’ve never in my life wanted so badly to live, so badly to love, so badly to express myself. Wanting to live just to protect another human being, dreaming of them grow up. The thought of not being around for every single second is terrifying! Every headache, every ache or pain makes you nuts or so it does me(I’m neurotic remember). Anyway the only way I have found to combat that is gratitude. It seems to me that being grateful for every moment you get with your loved ones helps with that particular anxiety.
7. Stay at home mom/Working mom……… um we all fuckin Rock!! DO YOU. All of our families are different and will require a different operation. I’ve been on both sides, I stayed home with Max for two years, I went to work for a year or so also… both extremely difficult. It was hard to have no social life. I loved being home with Max but it was isolating and running a home and trying to work from home was tough. The hardest day of my life was dropping Max off at nursery school for the first time, My first day at my new job I cried in front of my new co-worker(she understood). I missed him and he was only 25 months, we were both devastated. Now I work from home but Max still goes to nursery school; I’m the one to drop him off and when my work is done I go get my kid! He loves all his friends and is very social.
