7 things motherhood has taught me(extended version)

I did an Instagram about the 5 things I learned and wanted to not only elaborate but also give more insight.

1. I think the first and most important thing that I’ve learned as a mom is that I actually want to be a mom.
Before I got pregnant with Max, I was very indifferent to the idea of having a child.
Somewhere between 11 and 20 weeks I was madly in love with my baby and would be anything for him. I think this realization surprised me the most.  Everything I do now including my career is just a how can I do this in a way that would make me a better mom?
2. Learning that I was strong and fragile simultaneously was a very interesting thing to learn. At one point there I am growing a human being, then you give birth to this human being, then you’re able to feed this human being with milk that your body is making, and on top of all that you’re able to keep this baby alive with hardly any sleep. Mind-blowing! I am a BADASS. Unfortunately for some women, like myself, you’re also experiencing crazy wicked postpartum anxiety. Which for me felt like constant worrying about things that most likely wouldn’t come to pass but feeling extremely unprepared. I remember a time I woke up in tears because I didn’t know what to do in case a bear attacked my baby. First of all, when would a bear attack us? One of our weekly visits to Nordstrom’s perhaps? I can’t explain it but the fear was real and I cried for a long time while my baby lay safely next to me.  That time in my life was so rough, you can’t be afraid to ask for help.
 3. The value of tribal living! You NEED other mommies in your life. The minute you realize you are bringing a baby into the world, you become desperate to join the mommy groups! Not to mention being pregnant and then a new mom is lonely and isolating.
 4. Marriage is a big topic, almost needs it’s own blog post.  It’s so important that you and your partner discuss expectations. I feel like a woman goes into this experience thinking my partner will help me with diapers, meals, rest, and whatever else. The man may think “She’s got this” After all she’s the mom.  I would say that was probably the toughest part of it all.  My husband and I REALLY had a hard time adjusting, It gets easier the more you communicate.
5. Dealing with unsolicited advice….I don’t spend a whole bunch of time defending my choices or actions. I just don’t. My son was 18 months, all I heard everyday is that he needs to be done nursing. He is wasn’t ready.  Maxwell actually didn’t wean until he was a 26 months.  And that was that! Moms are wise! I will always instinctively do what’s right for Maxwell.
6. Mortality, I’ve never in my life wanted so badly to live, so badly to love, so badly to express myself.  Wanting to live just to protect another human being, dreaming of them grow up.  The thought of not being around for every single second is terrifying!  Every headache, every ache or pain makes you nuts or so it does me(I’m neurotic remember). Anyway the only way I have found to combat that is gratitude.  It seems to me that being grateful for every moment you get with your loved ones helps with that particular anxiety.
7. Stay at home mom/Working mom……… um we all fuckin Rock!! DO YOU.  All of our families are different and will require a different operation.  I’ve been on both sides, I stayed home with Max for two years, I went to work for a year or so also… both extremely difficult.  It was hard to have no social life. I loved being home with Max but it was isolating and running a home and trying to work from home was tough.  The hardest day of my life was dropping Max off at nursery school for the first time, My first day at my new job I cried in front of my new co-worker(she understood).  I missed him and he was only 25 months, we were both devastated.  Now I work from home but Max still goes to nursery school; I’m the one to drop him off and when my work is done I go get my kid!  He loves all his friends and is very social.
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My Trader Joe’s Beauty haul!!!!!

I don’t know about you, but when I think about buying beauty products, Trader Joe’s doesn’t even enter my mind. Imagine my surprise as I was looking for a toddler multi-vitamin(a story for another blog) when I see beauty products very similar to the products I spend a small fortune on at Nordstrom and Sephora for.

The question for me was obviously first about ingredients which seem to really check out in terms of what I’m used to seeing in beauty products. The second question was; at this price point could they actually work? So let’s get into it…………

 

The Blueberry & Acai facial scrub smelled like my smoothies(good sign actually) I hate chemical smelling products, so this was great. It’s fine, it exfoliates very well my skin felt soft. I think it’s a good deal.

I was actually in the market for a new oil, especially for the ends of my hair. That’s exactly what I used it for and it was perfection. The dropper allows you to use it sparingly, so you don’t have an obscene amount of oil on your hands… what you don’t need you can rub on your elbows.

My absolute favorite find was the Rose Water facial toner!!!!!!! I can’t say enough good things, once all my makeup was off I simply couldn’t wait to spray this generously on my face, it instantly restores moisture and relaxes my skin. The best part is the intoxicating smell of roses, I will be keeping this as a part of my routine for sure. Love it.

The Shea Butter & Coconut oil Hair mask was pretty good, I have really dry hair from being chemically processed but I can honestly say it does moisturize, but I probably won’t replace what I’m using now.

My second favorite find was the Rose Oil Ultra-Moisturizing Hand Cream. This will be another One I will continue to buy. Keep this by your nightstand you won’t be disappointed it gives the one I currently use a run for it’s money, and speaking of money it’s a fraction of the cost. It’s incredibly rich, the smell is amazing, and it’s not greasy.

The Rose facial oil is a part of my evening routine and honestly can’t tell a difference between the expensive one I’ve used from Sephora, so for that reason, I have to say only time will tell… but why pay more? My skin still feels very soft.

I have to say, all and all I’m very pleased with my purchases and if you are not committed to what you are currently using and you are looking for products that don’t break the bank I think you will be happy too. I do want to apologize for not putting the prices, I tried hard to find my receipt to report prices but I lost it. Considering what my normal products cost, I promise these are way less. I feel like nothing was over $10. It’s Trader Joe’s babes! I hope this helps.

XOXO

Tera Belle

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Smoothie bowl recipe

So Many people have enjoyed pictures of my smoothie bowls on my Instagram, so here is the recipe.

There are a lot things I make well, and there are things I stand in the kitchen with a drink and watch.  Anyway together we make a great team!!

Ingredients are as follows:

1 cup mangoes,

2 bananas,

2 cups strawberries,

1 handful spinach,

4 scoops super Greens

1 cup water to start add more as needed,

1 acai packet

You then blend these things together in a blender with a lot of power.(we love the Nutribullet)

Toppings include:

fresh fruit (I love strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries)

sliced almonds

chia seeds

Pepita aka pumpkin seeds

dark chocolate chips

coconut shavings

granola can also be used but I don’t like it in mine.

This should be enough for two people and the leftover can be given to a baby of 6 months or older without toppings or with the soft ones if you’d like. (my toddler loves these)

if you are watching your calories it’s about 560 per serving of 2

~fats 26 grams

~carbs 70 grams

~protein 18 grams

Go nuts on the toppings they’re the best part!!  Design as you wish and enjoy!

Try it and let me know what you think!

xoxo,

Tera Dunn

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Life is clutch

I’ve always felt a clutch was an evening accessory.  I love clutches during the day now.

Clutches are a very elegant and efficient way to carry just the essentials.  This is one of my favorites from Kate Spade and I love it! It gives this dress just a small pop of color and fits the things I need for the day. This dress is one of my faves. This pattern is fantastic and calls for simple jewelry.  I finished this look with Kate Spade kitten heels.

Kisses

Tera Dunn

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My daily routine in a snapshot

The things that seem effortless, usually take the most effort!  To look at this would seem overwhelming but we all need a routine, how extensive is up to you.  I will go further into my routine in a later post, but I just wanted to allow myself to be vulnerable and admit I do not wake up looking like Tera Belle……. Tera Belle is whom I become after a cup and a half of coffee, do it to creams, and make-up.

kisses

Tera Dunn

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My skin care routine

Despite just having a baby and hormones all over the place I have gotten compliments on my skin.  I thought about it and it’s great to know that my skin care regiment pays off.

1. First I wash my face and neck a with cleansing but NOT drying cleanser.
I use La Mer’s Cleansing Foam it’s super creamy with a polishing element.  It leaves my face feeling super clean but not dried out.
Now, for 4.2 fl. oz. at $90 dollars it might not be your jam, but do not fret because there’s an alternative cleanser called Checks and Balances made by Origins, to me has the same consistency and feeling on the face and at 5 fl. oz it’s only $22.  Basically, this is a splurge or steal situation but this is the only product on this list that is interchangeable in my opinion.

2. Next, about 3 times a week I exfoliate. I really like Never A Dull Moment skin brightening polisher with fruit extracts by Origins.  The way this works is, you spread it over your face, let it sit for a few minutes so the fruit extracts can work on the face, then you gently massage it a circular motion,  and rinse with warm water.

3. The next step I use the Treatment lotion from La Mer, it helps with tone and texture and allows the next steps of your regiment to work so much better. A great way to make this product last is to pour a little on your finger tips as opposed to using a cotton ball, a cotton ball will soak up more than you need.

4. SERUMS are really important!!  Fact, 80% of our sun damage happens before the age of 18.  Serums are great for reversing the “look” of aging.  There are so many amazing serums out there, right now I’m into the Lifting contour serum from La Mer because it firms the skin, making the face look slimmer.

5. Then there is an eye cream.  The Eye Concentrate from La Mer is amazing for dark circles, I feel like I was born with dark circles.  Concealer is fine but being able to leave the house with no make-up and feel pretty still is priceless.

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6. Lastly, there is the moisturizer, I use Creme de la Mer.  This is actually the first thing I ever used from this from this line, I was hooked.  What I like is how moisture rich it is, I was pregnant during the winter; truly a lifesaver.  The only thing about this moisturizer is you must rub it between your fingers first, then pat it into your skin.

*Bonus products….  I stumbled upon this retinol deep wrinkle filler from CVS drug store www.cvs.com  This is a total steal because it’s like botox in a tube.  I use it after the treatment lotion by dabbing a little on my forehead.  The reason I didn’t include it on top was because of the fact you shouldn’t use retinal when you are pregnant so I didn’t.  I have since begun using it again.

Also, I do not work for La Mer.  I’ve used these products for about 3 or 4 years and they work for me.  To learn more go to http://www.cremedelamer.com

or http://www.origins.com

 

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5 Things that made breastfeeding easier

In honor of Maxwell’s 2nd BIRTHDAY!!!!! Our breastfeeding journey has been long and strong, he will be weaning soon due to me taking on more work.  I wanted to wish all you new mommies well on your journey and give you some tips.

Before I had my son Maxwell, I had a plan to breastfeed.  No matter how many books you read, until you are going through you can’t really anticipate what it will be like.  Here are some things I’ve learned that I think might be helpful to a new mom or a mom who finds nursing your baby to be a challenging.

1.    The right support.  Starting with your husband/partner.  I had a talk with my husband before our son was even born, and I told him what I needed and expected from him in terms of things he can do to help.  In the beginning, it was just things like propping a pillow under my arm or grabbing me some water and or a snack, but as time continued and we exposed to more people I needed him to be comfortable with my boobs always being out.  That sounds funny but let me explain, I needed for him to not feel uncomfortable if we had people over or if we were in a cafe or out on a shopping trip, I needed him on my side.  My husband is very supportive but he would cringe if I had a nip slip in public and it started to make me feel bad.  Look it is what is is and sometimes you fumble and people see your nipple especially when you are learning and the last thing you need is someone saying “babe you’re nipple!!”  It’s not helpful, in fact, it’s just plain annoying our babies and their need to eat in a prompt manner is way more important anyone’s sensibilities.  Also just knowing he was in my corner should anyone had anything negative to say help me remain confident and less stressed.

The right support could also mean going to a support group.  I had been going to La Leche League meetings since I was 20 weeks.  I can’t stress to you how empowering it was for me and still is, I go every month.  I imagine there would have been several times I could have given up or would have felt pressure to do things that would have been either counter productive for my baby or interfered with milk production.  Listen, there are going to be people, well meaning, or just plain nosy people that want “help” and tell you what to do or not to do.  You have to remember it has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with you.  Some of the things I was told was quite discouraging but the things people say are from their own experience and or trauma.  You and your baby deserve a fresh start without any prejudice based on other people’s fear or limited thinking.  Going to a support group gave me the confidence to say bugger off to everyone including but not limited to doctors.  Let me give you an example.  When my son was born I knew I wanted him right away for skin to skin and to put him to the breast as soon as possible.  My hospital was great about it, I also knew I didn’t want my baby given anything but my colostrum, no formula, no sugar water, no nothing.  When we got home from the hospital Maxwell developed Jaundice.  Often times pediatricians recommend supplementing with formula but I knew that could possibly hurt my supply and hinder his ability to nurse.  I nursed him a lot, a lot, a lot, and gave him a little sunlight and it went away.   Another example is when I was pregnant I mentioned to a well-meaning family member that my plan was to breastfeed, and she said to me “oh that won’t last”.    Not only is it second nature but we are going strong, my supply is amazing, no end in sight, we will wean when he’s ready.

2.    The right bra for you.  I’ve found success with bralettes, unfortunately for me, nursing bras were really difficult for me to use, navigating the clasps caused me so much anxiety.  If my son was hungry and we were out unless I was wearing a tank top it was impossible for me to unsnap it with any grace.  With bralettes, I just pull it open like Clark Kent removes his shirt to reveal the Superman S.  Trust me when you go from a screaming infant to a soothed nursing infant you feel like a superhero too.

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3.  Washable/reusable nursing pads.  It’s pretty self-explanatory but it’s helpful to be in control of the things you can control.  You can hand wash them with a nice relaxing scent and let them air dry, doesn’t take very long and you are back in business.  Disposable ones are fine but don’t get caught with an empty box and you are not in a position to leave the house to get more.  Not only that, the whole taping them to your bra, they don’t really stay anyway, and it’s less expensive over the long haul.  I like the Bamboobies.

15833417They come 8 in a box, so you can always have them in rotation.

4.  Nipple cream.  I used nipple cream, in the beginning, it does really help.  It hurts in the beginning, I won’t lie to you, it freakin kills.  Nipple cream softens the skin and helps with cracking and dryness.

15833416The Boob Ease is Organic, contains no lanolin which isn’t great for you or your baby.  P.s no judgment if someone bought you the Lansinoh you and your baby will be ok.  In my experience, Maxwell did breakout so the organic nipple cream seemed to be better.  The point is nipple cream is awesome!

5.  And lastly, foods that support lactation.  Lactation cookies, I’m not a scientist, can’t guarantee the results but I think they work and a great excuse to eat cookies whenever I want.  Same with the Mother’s milk tea, I can’t guarantee the results but I like to feel like I’m doing everything I can do to aid in my long-term breastfeeding success.  There are many things on the market, but these are what I’ve tried so far.  You can go to your local grocery store for tea and for cookies you can go Babies R Us or go online.

thMilkmaker’s chocolate chip lactation cookies are freakin tasty!  Homemade ones are much better, but to be fair not everyone feels like baking.

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These are just the five things that really helped me.  But there are so many other things that can help mommies breastfeed.  Some honorable mentions are nursing pillows,(I used the breastfriend)  he’s bigger now, so I don’t really use anything.  A glider or rocking chair, having plenty of water bottles, premade snacks and meals, and other local mommies who can trust and randomly text.

This journey will be up to your baby, Our breastfeeding journey lasted 26 months, some are shorter, some are longer.  All is well.

XOXO,

Tera

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Blessed

When I found out I was having a baby, I was elated.  Maxwell wasn’t in my plans, but he was exactly what I needed in my life.  I didn’t know who I was, or what I would ever be without him.  No matter what or who I would ever become it wouldn’t be as fulfilling as when I’m nursing my son, and I see one little eye looking up at me as the other one buried in my once tiny boobs, or when he says mama mam with his little surprisingly raspy voice.  Every time he hits a milestone, my heart could just burst open into a million pieces leaving me vulnerable to the thoughts of my inevitable demise that doesn’t have any power over me anymore because I taught a human to wave, hold himself up, give mommy a kiss.  I am blessed.

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